Dearest...
Dearest,
My story is you. It begins with the first breath I uttered your name; ends with
the last thought my heart will confess. I search for you, long for the day I'm
introduced to your face. Even as I write this I wonder if you've spent the same
countless hours thinking about me as I have regarding you.
I have a picture in my mind of you; one that sheds only a small piece of what
you might be like. There are simple things I wish of your character- for
instance, I hope you call me "darling" in the mornings, when dreams
are still fresh above our heads. I wish to hear your voice when the sun sets,
when you wrap your arms around me and whisper not once, not twice, but three
times "I love you." If ever there is a time that you see me cry, I've
no doubt you'll hold me close and wipe away my tears. I love you for that, and
for so many other reasons.
You'll bring out every emotion I've ever known; make a piano note sound like a
symphony, and a line of paint resemble a masterpiece. Yes, you'll make me feel
everything, my darling, even the pain of longing for you when you're gone.
That, I can imagine, will be most unbearable. Even now, not knowing you yet is
slowly killing me. It's unimaginable to think that I have memories of things
yet to come. I pour a glass of wine and I can almost feel your lips brushing
against mine with the lingering taste of a bold wine between us...and then I
spiral back to reality where I'm still alone without you.
How do I know such an exquisite fantasy, when I know not even your name? How do
I feel your hands intertwined with mine, when I've never seen your face? I
believe you've been with me from the beginning - my life has been making my way
toward you. I know of no other love story on this earth that compares even
remotely to the love we haven't yet begun to have.
You'd be forgiven if you think me insane for loving you so completely. While I
don't know the particular feeling of falling in love as of yet, I know that
I'll become all too familiar with it when I meet you. As you'll surely find out
on your own accord, I have somewhat of an eclectic nature. I shall love you
with every possible piece of myself, but you must afford me this one small
request:
Always come back to me, and never stop loving me. This is all I ask, this is
all I need to be alive.
You, quite unbelievably, are the breath in me. The reason I live is to love you
- I know this because everyone lives for this. We're born, my love, only to
search for the one that makes us whole. I write this knowing you're out there -
I write this with the knowledge that love is my only truth. You, my story, my
auto-biography, my single gift from this existence, are anything and everything
I've ever known or wished to know. You are every chapter I've ever written.
Until we meet,
Alicia
